Jacob's Pain
by Lis123
Summary: Just a one shot story about how Jacob felt after Bella left him for Edward in New Moon. Kind of AU


**JPOV**

I watched in shock as Bella took off with that leech. The expensive car leaving a cloud of dust in the night air as it sped away. I couldn't believe she left me, she left me standing their like an idiot. She left me like it was nothing. That moment hurt me more than anything the Cullen's had ever done to me.

I loved this girl and she just left me as if I was nothing to her. It hurt more than I wanted to admit. The realization was clear as day, she used me, all this time. I thought we had a chance, I thought we were growing closer but instead she was just using me to feel wanted.

**God forbid if no one wanted her.**

Even after all that, I still felt a tiny tug on my heart for the what ifs. What if that leech Alice, or whatever her name is, never came? What if Bella finally opened herself to me? We were so close; I mean we almost kissed, almost.

I decided to let her go. She wasn't mine and it was very evident that she didn't want to be.

* * *

I sat in front of my computer a week later, reluctant to check my e-mail. Bella had been calling nonstop all week and I was sure she probably wrote. I wanted nothing to do with her, at least for a while, till I was truly over her and ready to forgive my so called friend.

I could hear the answer machine go off for the fifth time of the day. I sighed as Bella's sweet innocent, hurt voice filled the air.

"Jacob, please, talk to me, I miss you." Beep.

I closed my eyes taking a deep breath before releasing it.

"Jake, enough already, if you don't talk to her soon I'm going to have a talk with Charlie."

I slowly open my eyes to see my father's figure in the doorway.

"It's not that easy, she hurt me."

"Well, clearly the hurt is mutual."

I snapped my head around to face my father.

"She made her choice, if she's unhappy that's her fault." I said folding arms in my chest.

My dad shook his head giving me a disapproving look.

"You're punishing her."

"It's about time!"

Seeing his talk was getting nowhere, he slowly backed his wheelchair, about to leave before added.

"When are you going to grow up?"

I just huffed annoyed as he shut my door, leaving me in silence.

My attention went back to the screen in front of me. My fingers hesitated on the keys before hitting the enter key. As I predicted Bella wrote me, I was amazed at all the e-mails that graced my screen. There were fourteen total. which meant she wrote one twice a day.

The weird thing was that they weren't address to me, she only mentioned me in the past tense and every entry wrote like a journal.

Bella expressed emotions I didn't even know she felt. I almost felt bad for reading them, like I was reading a part of her diary.

They were all the same, saying how she is glad Edward is back in her life and she would never regret her decision to leave but that she missed me. That apart of her heart ached for me. Like a part of her was missing without me.

The last part broke me, before I could stop myself I found myself running through the dark woods in search of Bella's house.

* * *

Once I reached my location, I sighed in relief to see Bella's light was still on. I quietly made my way up the tree to her window. I stopped short seeing she wasn't alone.

He was there, lying next to her on the bed with a peaceful look on his face. I cringed as she cuddled up to him hugging his chest. Suddenly he winched, notify Bella of something. She suddenly popped up alert, breaking their embrace, making him frown a little in the process.

Unable to take anymore I hopped down from the tree about to head back, when out of nowhere Bella's front door open wide with a thud.

"Jake!"

I quickly turned around only to come smack with Bella's body.

I stood there stun, my hands lifeless and at my sides, as she gave me a death squeeze, afraid to let go.

"Jake, I missed you so much." She whispered in the embrace.

I felt my walls break down as my hands found their way to Bella's back holding her in place. I sighed before breathing in her sweet scent.

"I missed you too."

Much too soon Edward came out making his presence know, breaking our special moment.

"Bella, I'm gonna go, the others are probably wondering where I am." Edward announced.

Bella slowly left my warm embrace, looking back and forth between Edward and me as in thought.

"Okay." She said hesitantly going to Edward pecking him on the lips.

"Call me later."

"There's no need, I'll be back later, once Charlie's asleep." He said grinning down at her.

Suddenly Bella looked nervous, turning back to me before facing Edward again.

"No, no, you should stay with your family tonight, I feel bad, I've been hogging you all this time, plus, Charlie still has me grounded and I should respect his wishes."

Edward frowned slightly.

"If you think so."

I watched confused as Edward took off leaving Bella and me. She slowly came back over to me taking my hand and hers. Bella held so much love in her eyes, which confused me to no end.

**Since when did Bella choose to spend time with me over Edward?**

I looked down at our locked hands in confusion.

"You're holding my hand."

Bella lightly laughed.

"Nothing gets past you."

I rolled my eyes at her child's play.

"Why are you holding my hand, isn't it against the rules?"

Bella's fun attitude suddenly turned sad, dropping my hand.

I wanted to scream at myself you idiot!

"I'm so sorry Jake; I didn't mean to hurt you."

I sighed stressed not wanting to get into this with her, not wanting to relive the pain.

"I know. Look, I should go. If you're grounded, I don't want you getting in trouble."

Bella suddenly panic grabbing my hand again, afraid I would take off.

"Please don't leave."

I was taken back I never seen Bella so unglued. Maybe she did have feelings for me after all.

"Okay, I'll stay."

Bella lighting up at this, practically pulling my inside and silently lead me to her room as Charlie watched his tv downstairs unaware of anyone besides Bella being in her room.

Once inside, Bella dropped my hand taking a seat on her bed. I uncomfortably looked around her room, remembering the last time I was there.

"Brings back memories doesn't it?" Bella asked as if reading my mind.

"Yeah, it does." I said taking a seat next to her, not wanting to re hatch the past.

"I am sorry Jake." I looked at my empty hands not wanting to face her.

"I know."

"But?" She asked, scooting over to me.

I suddenly snapped turning towards her.

"Can you honestly tell me you didn't feel it to?"

She suddenly grew quiet, becoming uncomfortable herself.

"Jake."

"At least answer this…"

Bella waited nervously as I continued.

"That day in the kitchen, if he never called…"

"Jake, please don't." Bella pleaded eyeing the bed.

I ignored her comment continuing.

"If he never called, would you have kissed me?"

Suddenly Bella's eyes met mine, hurt.

"Honestly, I don't know, and that's what hurts the most."

I was suddenly taken back. Bella didn't know. She still didn't know what she wanted. It suddenly got very quiet and awkward.

"Jake, lay with me?"

She didn't have to ask.

I watched as Bella slid under her covers before joining her. I froze as she pecked my cheek, cuddling against my chest. I looked down at chestnut hair spread wildly across my chest as she laid her head on my torso sighing in comfort.

"You're so warm."

I smiled at the comment, holding Bella close before sleep took over. It wasn't till than that I realize it didn't matter whether Bella wanted me or Edward, she would always have my heart.

**The end! ;)**


End file.
